I definitely made this one way too easy for myself, because everyone knows who drives a Town Car. It's always some baby boomer who works for or owns a limousine service. If it's not them, however, it'll be someone easily over 60 who consider it a luxury car on par with anything put out by Mercedes-Benz. However, since Lincoln is no longer making a Town Car sedan, they've slapped the "Town Car" name on an MKT, and have sold them in droves to livery services. This means that you might be redirected to the nearest prep school when you show up at a charity gala.
Age Group: 50 and above. This means Baby Boomers who are past retirement age or those part of the Greatest Generation. For a car that's been around on the same platform since the 1970s, it would take an old-timer or a limo company owner who likes low maintenance on his or her cars to buy the Town Car. Or it could be Jack Baruth, who used to own one.
Occupation: Either the employee or owner of a limousine service or someone retired who wanted to reward himself or herself with a luxury car that'll last the rest of their and their grandchildren's lifetime.
Residence: Blue-collars neighborhoods or apartment complexes, if the bumper has those random letter and number stickers on it. Otherwise, they can be found in retirement communities across America where 90% of the time they're parked next to a golf cart.
Leased or Bought: Bought. With the amount of mileage put on these cars, no one in his or her right mind would ever lease them. That and the lease rate would be quite high thanks to the depreciation and resulting low residual values of these cars.
Intended Use for Car: To go from Point A to Point B, driving VPs of companies to the airport or around major cities. Or also, they're a limo company, send the car to a coachbuilder who'll create a stretch limousine out of the car. People who own them as their personal car will use them to visit the grandchildren who live at least two hours away.
Actual Use for Car: Once again, Town Car owners know very well what they intend to do with their cars. And they're the ones who'd stick to it. Limo companies need to so they can write off the expenses.
Attitude Towards Maintenance: These are maintained well. Maintenance is deductible for limo companies and is imperative to the aged individuals who want to make sure their kids never take away their driving license. But that's because owners know how much maintenance should cost, unlike a Mercedes, which might have suspension failure, brake failure, COMAND system failure, and so on.
Car They Wish They Had: If they fall into the baby boomer category, or the individuals working for the limo company, it'll be a Mercedes S-Class or a Lexus LS. At least some people on the road might think the car actually belongs to them. The "Greatest Generation" owners, however, won't wish for anything else because they simply don't care. They wish to play more golf and see the grandchildren.
Car They'll Recommend to Others: The ones who bought a Town Car for themselves will recommend the Town Car because of the reliability, low-cost maintenance, and low general cost. There's a reason these cars are widely recommended on TTAC. Meanwhile, livery company employees know they can't recommend anything else since nothing beats the low purchase and running costs of a Town Car. But they'll suggest virtually anything else to escape the limo driver characterization.
Car They'll Want At the Rental Counter: It'll probably be a Town Car, until the rental car attendant politely says that those aren't available anymore. But the rental car attendant still wants the luxury car rental rate to ensure their sales numbers stay up, so they'll probably receive a Lincoln MKZ, Cadillac CTS, or Cadillac XTS instead. The Chrysler 300 won't be luxurious enough for them.
Driver Profiles is a recurring feature on Clunkerture. Anyone is free to create their own Driver Profiles from this form, since I'm not qualified to write profiles on some car owners, like the people who run Pontiac Fieros and Alfa Romeo Breras. Feel free to e-mail me at email@example.com if you'd like your piece to be featured.
Photo Credit: Lincoln