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CLUNKERTURE

Writing about the most obscure things you can ever know about cars. And a few road tests for added measure.
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 Image credit Porsche.

Image credit Porsche.

Driver Profile: Porsche 986 Boxster

June 10, 2014

Today’s topic is the Porsche 986 Boxster, commonly known as the Porsche with the 911 front end that you can get for four-figures, which constantly are in the “Manager’s Specials” sections in newspaper advertisements. However, this is the Porsche that is also known for something called and IMS and RMS failures, which has contributed to those four-figure prices on used 10+ year old Boxsters. So you’d think someone would have to be crazy to own one. But as this Driver Profile attests, Boxster drivers are actually fairly normal people.

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In PROFILES Tags driver profiles, profiles, porsche, 986, boxster
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Driver Profile: BMW E90 3-Series

March 21, 2014

Feel free to apply whatever's written in this driver profile to owners of current-generation Audi A4s and Mercedes-Benz C-Class cars. Because there's really no difference between their buyers and their corresponding lifestyles.

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In PROFILES Tags profiles, driver profiles, BMW, 3-Series, audi, a4, mercedes, mercedes-benz, c-class
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 Image courtesy Lincoln. 

Driver Profile: Lincoln Town Car

March 2, 2014

I definitely made this one way too easy for myself, because everyone knows who drives a Town Car. It's always some baby boomer who works for or owns a limousine service. If it's not them, however, it'll be someone easily over 60 who consider it a luxury car on par with anything put out by Mercedes-Benz. However, since Lincoln is no longer making a Town Car sedan, they've slapped the "Town Car" name on an MKT, and have sold them in droves to livery services. This means that you might be redirected to the nearest prep school when you show up at a charity gala. 

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In PROFILES Tags driver profiles, profiles, lincoln, town car, panther, crown victoria
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Driver Profile: Mercedes-Benz G500

February 18, 2014

Yes, the G-Wagen has been sold in America for over ten years by now. In fact, it's been sold around the world since 1979. But I'm focusing on the G500, since it is now the cheapest way you can get into a G-Wagen (unless you find an older grey-imported one) from the 1980s or early 1990s. And even then, those can't be cabriolets, since those still command high prices. Let's see what kind of drivers (other than anybody with the last name Kardashian) that G500s attract. 

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In PROFILES Tags driver profiles, mercedes-benz, mercedes, g500, g-wagen, g-class
1 Comment
 Photo Courtesy Maruti Udyog

Photo Courtesy Maruti Udyog

Driver Profile: Maruti 800

February 12, 2014

As an Indian, I am required to know everything there is to know about the Maruti 800, and of course, the Hindustan Ambassador. In fact, I learned to drive in India and a manual in an 800, so it's a car that's near and dear to my heart, and many individuals in my extended family have had one at some point, only to quickly sell them and get something much better (read: anything better than an Alto) once they had the money to escape the "cheapest" car stigma.

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In PROFILES Tags maruti, 800, driver profiles
2 Comments
pilot.jpg

Driver Profile: Honda Pilot

February 7, 2014

Today, I profile the Honda Pilot driver and write about the lengths they are willing to go in order to avoid the Odyssey, because have you ever met a Honda Pilot owner without kids?

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In PROFILES Tags honda, pilot, profiles
4 Comments
Bugatti.jpg

Driver Profile: Bugatti Type 57SC Atlantic

February 6, 2014

There are only two of these cars in the world. Which makes my life easier in determining what the profiles of half the drivers are. But the other half have remained anonymous, making my life harder.

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In PROFILES
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Press Release Rewind: The 2007 FIAT Bravo
about 11 months ago
Quick Take: Alfa Romeo Giulia Quadrifoglio
Quick Take: Alfa Romeo Giulia Quadrifoglio
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Test Drive: 2012 Mazda MX-5
Test Drive: 2012 Mazda MX-5
about a year ago
Future Clunkertest: Audi S3 makes you wax poetic, fly past traffic
Future Clunkertest: Audi S3 makes you wax poetic, fly past traffic
about a year ago
My Mini-Analysis of the Bonhams Quail Lodge Auction
about 4 years ago

  • Was cleaning and found this @Chrysler 200 "press kit." Whoever writes the best reason to own a 200 by Friday gets it. http://t.co/BGqqHv5LBo
    about 4 years ago
  • Thanks to a request from @SimeoneMuseum, I changed the description of the T26 GS in my Bonhams write-up. Here it is: http://t.co/jHhpOfhTBC
    about 4 years ago
  • Can you could how many things are wrong with this listing?! And to think this car is so close to where I live. http://t.co/mEZJuqIez6
    about 4 years ago

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